PRITCHARD, ashley

PRITCHARD, ashley Oct 5, 2010 14:35:09 GMT -5

Post by ASHLEY PRITCHARD on Oct 5, 2010 14:35:09 GMT -5

ASHLEY NICHOLAS PRITCHARD
_{nineteen, mist fledgling, crescent}
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(a scrapbook compiled by ashley)

C A L L M E P R I T C H A R D

Have you ever met anyone who is better known by their surname? Well, I’m one of them. Call me Pritchard. I’d love to tell you how this all started but, I honestly can’t remember. I’m just Pritchard, I always have been, and I always will be.

S I X F A C E S O F A S H L E Y

Six faces? Yes, I have multiple personalities. I’m not a schizophrenic. Schizophrenia is completely different. I don’t understand why people confuse it with my condition. I have DID (dissociative identity disorder). Currently, I have only six ‘identities’ although traumatic experiences bring around new ones, and there is a few other triggers for them also. I pray to Achlys that I don’t develop any more though. Just as a side note, I wouldn’t be compiling this if my therapist was not forcing me to.

| T H E W I L D O N E
"Now, I have never felt so indecisive in my life when it comes to my opinion on ‘the wild one’. You’ll have to excuse the names that have been given to my personalities by the way. It was my therapist’s idea, again. Whenever this identity emerges, I always end up having fun but, it can sometimes come at too much of a cost. It’s as if I can see a clear line in my mind, depicting how much is enough so to say but, I have to cross that line. I cannot help myself. I become severely reckless and hyperactive and when not in the right company it can fuck a lot of my relationships up. I’m that guy, who takes things too far, and ends up destroying everything. "

| T H E R E C L U S E
"There isn’t much to say about the recluse, other than the obvious. I don’t like to be around anyone. No one at all. I’ll skip out of lessons if I need to be alone. I usually ditch the house of night and I head over to Woodward Park, there is one tiny secluded spot, it’s surrounded by trees and bushes or whatever and no one can see you, or hear you. It’s perfect and no, I’m not going to write it’s exact location, it wouldn’t be my spot then, would it? "

| T H E I L L U S T R A T O R
"As you can see, my body is covered in tattoos, and no, they are not a gift from Achlys. They’re self inflicted if you would say that. Anyway, as ‘the illustrator’, creativity is my only companion. Just give me paper and a pencil and my imagination runs wild. I designed all of the tattoos on my body; my other drawings are plastered to the walls of my dorm. It’s not just drawing though I suppose, I tend to write as well on occasion, or paint or some other craft form."

| N E U R O S I S
"With Neurosis, panic becomes my middle name. Being bizarrely paranoid – usually about other people – is a rather unpleasant experience but, it can’t be helped. Not only that but, I suffer from panic/anxiety attacks. I’ve never felt anything worse than a panic attack, I can assure you that. Your chest tightens up, you can barely breath and all the while it feels like the world’s coming to an end and you’ve no control over your entire body. So, it’s not nice. Besides, Neurosis is exactly like some psychopathic movie character, I’m not sure whether that should worry me or amuse me? "

| R E V O L U T I O N
"‘A.K.A Mr Angry’ revolution here is the trouble maker. To sum him up in one word, would be rebel. Authority is never my strong point but, with this identity emerging it becomes my worst nightmare. I am completely unable to take orders or instructions, and I am incredibly likely to tear the room apart before conforming. In fact, I’ll never conform. Usually, I’m a professor’s worst nightmare and the class hero. Although, the kids who actually enjoy lessons don’t tend to approve of poor old me. However, sometimes it’s not authority that’s the problem. Sometimes it nothing. I’m just angry, for no apparent reason. I’d keep out of the way if that occurs. It wouldn’t be the first time I lashed out at someone I cared about."

| R O M A N C E
"‘My final identity is romance. I have always had some deep desire to be loved yet, with the way I am it simply doesn’t seem possible. Now, I’d like to think that Romance is quite the charmer, it’s just that once he disappears the lovely lady who was charmed will be confused as fuck and no doubt repulsed by whoever appears after him. It’s tricky. Along with the charm though, comes quite a bit of sadness. Rejection and things of that nature take a huge blow on me. Far larger than it would on other people. Normal people that is. "

E M M A 'S O P I N I O N S

Revolution stole my therapist’s notes. Okay. I stole them, I was curious and she left them so easily accessible whilst she went to the bathroom. I’m sticking them in here because... well I can. If she realises – or finds them in here – I’ll just say I knew nothing about it. Or I couldn’t remember taking them. Or something. I don’t know. Some idea will come to me. Although, if she finds the notes in here, she’s probably reading this and knows I stole them. Sorry Emma. There isn't many of them, just three sessions worth. It's interesting to know what it is she jots down after our sessions though. These notes are from quite a few years ago though. It would have been better to know where I was at currently, if that makes sense.

Session 54;
I feel as if I’ve made some progress today. The idea of this style of therapy is to slowly combine each of Ashley’s personalities together, so that he is one again. In order to do that, he must define each personality; discover their ins and outs before we can fully meld them together. I managed to glance at the scrap book I suggested he kept, and he has efficiently separated out each of his six identities.

Session 55;
Today, Ashley spoke of how ‘Revolution’ had caused – quite literally – mayhem amongst his art class. I very much wish there was some way he could bring about his creative side whenever he entered that classroom but, unfortunately that is not possible. I have already received eight voice mails from his art professor; I am dreading what she might say. I try to encourage his teachers to speak to me yet this woman seems to just complain. I am considered whether or not to ask he be moved to another art group, the professor in another one may be slightly more tolerant.

Session 56;
Our session today may have been the most eye opening one so far. With Ashley’s DID, he has incredibly severe memory loss concentrated mainly on his childhood yet, he can remember the most traumatic events that happened. I believe that his mind has forgotten all else other than those memories that have scarred him in some way. With abusive and loveless parents it is no surprise that one of his identities is solely based upon his desire to be loved.

L I K E S A N D D I S L I K E S

I'm not all too sure what the point of this is, but what the hey. Only problem is though, my likes and dislikes tend to change a lot for obvious reasons.

| L I K E S
tattoos. If you can't tell this, you must be blind or retarded.
blue. Frankly, it's a classy color.
girls. I'm male. Need I say more?
art. Creativity is my thing. Most of the time.
music.Everyone likes music, it's a great way to calm down.
writing. It comes with the whole creativity thing.
parties. Nothing like a good rave to get your adrenaline going.
achlys. She saved me from the shit life I had. I owe her one.
salted popcorn. Keep that 'sweet' crap away from me.
motorcycles. They're badass. End of.

| D I S L I K E S
the sun. It's a painful bitch on the skin.
panic attacks. Blatently.
screaming.Please, no screeching girls near me, thanks.
vulnerability. Being weak isn't fun.
silence.Although, with 'The Recluse' it's a like I guess.
acting/drama. I've already got enough characters to play.
confusion. Not understanding something stresses me out.
rejection. Surely everyone dislikes this?
parents. Mine were crap.
sensitivity. I have too many delicate emotions

H O B B I E S

Apparently, hobbies are healthy for people and Emma has suggested that I find out what mine are and try and commit more fully to them. I can only think of two.

| A R T
I've spoken about art a lot but, that's because I really do love it. Creating a piece of artwork and having it displayed is the most uplifting feeling ever.

| M E C H A N I C S
I really do enjoy fixing up cars but, what I love more than that is fixing up motorcycles. What can I say, I’m a grease monkey. I currently ride a classic Harley Davidson cruiser that I brought back to life only a few months ago.

T H E P A S T

I’m always encouraged to try and talk about my past but, I’m not going to. Not to you. Not to myself. Not to anyone. I had drug addicted parents and I moved constantly from place to place so they could run away from their debts. I wasn’t their son, I was their punch bag. I had no other family, or I could have but I was never told about them. My illness wasn’t diagnosed for sixteen years. Sixteen years with abusive parents and having a mental disorder without being aware of it. I hate to say it but, my six identities were all influenced by my parents. I hate that. With DID though, a common symptom is memory loss, and that is the one and only thing I happen to like about it. It’s removed most of my childhood from my mind and I’m thankful for that.

They day I was marked was the happiest day of my life. I was confused about whom Achlys was having only heard about Nyx as a human but, I was still ecstatic, I was going to escape from my life. Have a fresh start. It was when I joined with the other fledglings at the house of night that my illness was fully recognised. I’ve been undergoing therapy for the past four years now. I’d like to think it’s helping me.

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TASHA

Post by ASHLEY PRITCHARD on Oct 5, 2010 14:35:09 GMT -5

Post by MAKE IT WORK ALLIE ❤ on Oct 5, 2010 16:01:00 GMT -5